The Inner Condition

The room was cold.  I tried very well to cover myself in a thin useless blanket.  The droplets of hail softly hit the window as I tried my hardest to comfort myself to the idea of sleep, but I knew there wasn’t going to be much sleep at all that night.  In my head there was something missing.  I couldn’t tell what exactly, but it felt like there was something unfinished.

The next day, however, I made an unexpected encounter.  I walked lightly through the library of my old school as I made my way quietly to an open desk.  It wasn’t a matter of disturbing others; it was more of a matter of others disturbing me.  Across the library, I saw a familiar physique.  A girl with a light skin tone but not light enough to be pale.  She had a natural state of dark brown hair that covered half of her face as if she was hiding behind a self-made wall.  Focusing on what she was doing, I notice a familiar device; a MacBook.

Yes, this was the girl I once fell for long ago.  As I remember correctly, it didn’t end all that well.  In fact, I don’t recall it ending at all.  I was left feeling as if I was leaving something incomplete; I was leaving it unfinished.

My next action was made as a split decision.  I got up from my chair and headed directly toward her.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to say or what I was going to do but I knew I had to do something.  I sat in an empty chair beside her.  I didn’t say anything or make any gestures, I simply waited.  It took some time before she noticed me as I decided to sit behind her wall of hair.  But once she did notice, it was as if all words had left both my mouth and hers.

Her facial expression lacked shock and produced a calm, relaxed, and warm look of relief.  I could’ve sworn that I was staring into her eyes for the first time.  I couldn’t help but produce an expression of my own; a smile.  Her tense shoulders had relaxed as she surrendered nothing other than the words, “I’m sorry…for everything.”  I felt an incredible warmth cover me as if some useless thin blanket had suddenly turned into a cloud of cotton that was ready to float me away.  I took her hand, leaned in, and simply whispered, “I know.  But I’m okay.”  I was able to read the reprieve in her eyes, and just like that my maintenance was done.  I was cured.  I silently got up and headed out the door.  There was a heavy amount of closure for me and for her.

At that moment, I knew I had gotten a good night’s sleep the night before.  I knew this because as I walked away from the faint light in the library and closed the door behind me, I woke up. 

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