I will be thirty years old next month and I still cannot grasp how this civilized life is supposed to work. I am really not that much of a hermit but I still try to avoid as many social engagements as I possibly can. My discord starts early in the day when I arrive at work and I am greeted by my coworkers. Most of them will provide some sort of salutation and then the two of us will not speak again until the next morning. What is the point? If that is the only interaction the two of us will be having then I can do without it. It is a filler to my day that does not need to exist. If my life was a novel those small interactions would be held under scrutiny to Chekov’s Gun Theory. The reader may ask such questions as: “Who is this person and when will they propel the story?”, “Tomorrow they say the same thing? Well, will it eventually stop someday to show a significant change in the protagonist’s life?”, “Only if that character dies? Will that affect the protagonist?” The answer is no. It is just some social contract that someone made up so that we must grit our teeth behind a false smile every morning.
What are some of those salutations? My personal favorite is good morning. What does that imply though? Does it mean that this morning is good? In what context? Do you request that I have a good morning? How the hell do I do that? I have no control over most things. I could have a great morning by not having this false conversation with you. Another favorite is when someone shortens that greeting and just says mornin’. Yeah. It is the morning for us. Wonderful observation. Honestly though, I was a little uncertain what time of day it was. When I saw the sun on my way to work I was not certain if it was rising or setting. Thanks for the confirmation. It would be swell if you come tell me when it is lunch time. I know a bell will ring, but I need to be certain. Maybe it is just me. I kind of feel we are all worth more than a social obligation.
What happens when you try to force that obligatory salutation into conversation? You end up with miscommunication. I was talking to a coworker one day and as always we were gossiping. Is there a better way to show unity than teaming up against a common enemy? She was talking about a girl that was very skinny and suggested she got that way by (she opened her mouth and inserted her finger a few times). I knew what she meant but I personally do not like to poke fun at eating disorders so I retorted with “Giving blowjobs?” I even made a quizzical expression but she did not catch the sarcasm. The point is that small talk is for people that have ideas in common. Our views on what is socially accepted are too far apart to be gossiping together.
I hope no one gets a wrong impression of me. I desire the unity of mankind but I do not think that is possible in today’s society. When we all had the common goal of surviving it was a lot easier. Now everyone in America is spoiled and most goals are the accumulation of wealth and beauty. It is all over everything. There is not enough incentive to be smart and productive to humanity but plenty to be dumb, attractive, and urban. Recycling is not cool, but wastefully pouring beverages on bitches from the top of your SUV is. I honestly cannot see the appeal to that kind of behavior. It makes me want to abandon society and just roam the land living off of it. I already have a bag packed in my closet full of survival gear in case I ever snap and want nothing more than to walk off in to the bush shaking my head. After all, we are nothing more than intelligent animals without the common sense to know how to coexist with each other or even our environment. How many times have primal urges called upon you to strip yourself of possessions and run off into the night? Civilization requires currency, surviving does not. Currency divides the herd and makes us weak. Unity is strength. What will it take to quit fighting?
I am not here to tell you that your beliefs are wrong, but let us be honest here: religion is the number one cause of segregation. I was born a Christian and I can remember my mother teaching Sunday school at a Pentecostal Holiness church. Later I started attending a Southern Baptist church because of a few pretty girls I knew attended there. I was the new guy so the youth minister asked me where my previous church was and everyone was appalled that I went to a Pentecostal church. It is really just two sides to the same coin but I quickly learned that Christians do not even like other Christians that attend different churches. Their ideals are wrong and only what their church thinks is what will get you in to heaven. Well, guess what? I don’t want to go to heaven! There is going to be a bunch of pricks there and the only sustenance is milk and honey. Plus I won’t know anyone and everything is made of gold and precious gems, including my giant fucking mansion. I have never been materialistic. Hell doesn’t sound so bad though. Drugs, rock n roll, and butt sex. I love butt sex!
All of that is what made me atheist. I soon realized that those guys are just a bunch of pricks too. They think they are so smart and that everyone else is wrong. Sounds a lot like the religious if you ask me. Most just seem bitter and try to make those with faith feel as shitty as they do. I am not about that. I have that drive for unity, so now I identify with Secular Humanism. I am not saying that there is not a god, known by whatever name you choose to call it, but rather that hope does absolutely nothing to help anyone. Prayer is the least possible thing someone could do to help a situation other than nothing at all. Action is the only course that gives results. Humans are the only ones capable of action one hundred percent of the time. It is all about the power of humanity and brotherhood but it still cannot bring humanity together by itself. People have to want to change. They have to want to stop being selfish and wasteful. But they won’t. They would rather waste precious, life-giving resources than to actually do something that could help their fellow human. And yes, I am referring to the ice-bucket challenge. That is why I cannot understand humans.